So… I GRADUATED TODAYY!
It’s been 4 years since I moved to Edinburgh to study Law and Business. After countless of hours reading, writing, thinking, analyzing, mulling over my dissertation, this phase of my life has come to an end.
In my weekly email on Sunday night, I sent out today’s post addressing on how to overcome self-doubt. (Sign up below if you haven’t signed up, you’ll be the first ones to know when I find personal life revelations and motivational advice!)
The words on everyone’s lips has been, ‘what are your plans after graduation?’ Some people already knows in terms of where they will be in the next few months, some have enrolled onto further studies, or have snagged an internship at a company that they have been wanting to work for. But most people I’ve talked too, seems quite unsure about their next phase in life… most muttering the words, ‘I don’t know… perhaps I’ll try… I’ll figure it out.’
It’s a time of uncertainty. A lot of us asking inside, ‘what am I supposed to do for the rest of my life?? School is out.’ The dreams we have for our careers and our life come knocking and tapping on our shoulder, ‘Hey you. It’s time.’
Our dreams & future
I have been asking and visualizing what I wanted for my future. It has stayed with me for a very long time now that I wanted to be able to write for a living. But I have not faced up and owned it until of recently. I have neglected it, disguised it, pushed it back back back in the back of my mind, and felt very insecure. I remembered to 4 years ago in high school, when I had a thought of majoring in creative writing. I negotiated with myself and thought about how my parents would not approve of me if I majored in creative writing. I decided to take law and business, because law would allow me to still write, analyze, and read, and well taking business… would be a safe bet to build a career from.
As these 4 years went by, I realized that the dreams and the things that we truly enjoy never leave us. I kept on feeling that studying business wasn’t a right fit for me, the classes bored me and I gradually leaned into the more theoretical aspects of studying marketing and its history. I liked studying law, I learned how to hone my writing, and found my voice in interpreting the complex legal realm. Eventually, in the midst of my life experiences of experiencing the depths of depression, anorexia, recovering from it, and starting this blog… the passion that I have for writing found me again.
It’s funny how our true selves always finds a way to show up when we are neglecting it. We have to decide and intentionally give attention to the dreams that we have for our lives. We might not have all the pieces figured out on making the dream come true, but we have to be brave in listening to our internal guidance and trust that the Universe will help us create the lives that feels good and true to us.
The Universe is always working for us. To help us become more of our Truest Selves. Click To Tweet
I decided to own up to why I wanted to write. This is what I found from my reflections:
I wanted to benefit people from the pieces I write; to inspire them; to awaken their souls; to brighten up dark moments in their life; to help others connect to their true self, own their power, and realize the powerful, fulfilling, joyful life that they could be living…
As I imagined how wonderful this could be, a shaking voice crept up that said… ‘What if what you wanted for your future wouldn’t be able to come true?’ It scared me so hard that I had a bit of an anxiety attack and sort of spaced out….
But then… the realization; the awakening moment came. It was almost an audible voice said so clearly in my head, ‘Because, you never learned to know what it felt like to be sure of yourself and what you can do.’
Holding on to fragments from the past
A short movie reel played in my minds eye that took me back to my past. I grew up without a stable father figure from undergoing 2 divorces. My mom was largely absent and she had been quite stern and disciplined with me while I was growing up. She was a strong woman herself (and quite perfectionist at times), and she would the type that could get mad at me if I did something wrong or disappointment her in some way.
I realized that I have been operating in my lack of self-belief. I never learned to be confident of myself. Being aware that I could get in trouble with my mom if I did something wrong, I always questioned everything I did.
Whether it was good enough…?
Was it perfect enough…?
Would it make my mom proud?
Who am I to have the dreams I do?
To pursue that felt right to my heart.
This habit of questioning what I did continued until the questions cemented into a feeling of uncertainty that gnawed with me and overshadowed every decision, every act I did.
What to do when self-doubt hits you!
We all have our moments of, ‘Oh no, I can’t do this moments.’ Fear takes over us. and what’s worse is that we like listening to it.
We like playing small because it feels safe. We don’t like taking chances because we’re scared we might get hurt.
But what if the dreams we have in our hearts have been put there for a cause?
A cause greater than ourselves?
The dreams that tugs in our hearts may seem big and unusual. But it’s not our place to question it and listen to fear that keeps our dreams locked up in a small box. It’s our responsibility to listen to what stirs our hearts and take steps towards living the dreams that have been placed there.
So, I curated the steps below that helped me overcome the gnawing self-doubt and center back in my power. I hope it will help you too!
1. Why is it you might be feeling uncertain of yourself?
Take a look at the source of uncertainty and really ask why you might be feeling uncertain?
For me, the uncertainty came from a lifelong habit of questioning I did and whether it would make my mom happy. I realized that I had to stop playing my life according to whether it made someone else happy, but whether it felt authentic and true to me. The certainty then comes from within, not from the outside.
Ask yourself, if you are making your decisions based on what feels good for you, or are you doing it for someone else’s happiness?
2. YOU are responsible for how YOU feel
If the uncertainty came from an outside source and it doesn’t feel good cruising through your veins, then you can flush it out!
So, if someone said something to you that made you self-doubting yourself, and you feel that their comments does not sit right with you, then don’t give away your power to their comments. Remember that every comment makes about ourselves, is coming from a reflection of their own spectacles.
We are only responsible for believing what rings true in our hearts. There will be people that doubt us along the way. But it is not their job to believe in our dreams, it is our primary responsibility to believe in ours.
3. Center back to your heart with good intentions
A lot of our uncertainty can come if we base our decisions on living up to outside expectations.
Once you get clear on what is causing your uncertainty, then you can release it, and come back to your center.
Here’s how you can center back:
Be good to yourself, take a bubble bath, read a good book, eat some chocolate, go out with a good friend that makes you feel good.
The decisions that we make, should feel good ultimately for ourselves.We are the main character of our story. It's up to us to curate a life that feels good and authentic to us. Click To Tweet
I hope my personal awakening story and the steps above help you overcome any bouts of self-doubt you may have!
Do you have experiences of self doubt?
Comment below and share with me, if you have any stories of when you doubted yourself and how you overcame it. I would love to hear and connect with you!
It’s time to step into our authentic power.
It’s time to live with intention.
It’s time to really live the lives that we want to live (and not someone else’s version).
P.S. I’m going to take a trip to Munich, Prague, Vienna, Budapest tomorrow until the 11th of July with my mom! There will not be any new blog posts until the week I come back. I will be posting photos of my trip on Wellness to Go’s Instagram account and tweeting every now and then on Twitter. Feel free to stay updated on the adventures I go and follow me on there!
P.P.S. If you have enjoyed reading this post or my other blog entries, sign up for my weekly FEEL-GOOD mail below. You’ll be the first ones to hear of any personal motivational tidbits I learn. Every Sunday night (except when I’m away) I send a weekly newsletter with personal insights from me to set you up for the next week ahead!