Life is funny sometimes. It will throw things at you when you least expect it.
And it doesn’t take something big to push our buttons, usually it’s the little things in life that get to us.
Today’s blog will be focused on giving you tips in holding your ground when life seems to be getting to you.
Here is your Wellness to Go to take away from today’s post.
When life seems to be getting to you:
1. Breathe, Step away & Be your own Best Friend Forever.
2.Seek the Solution
3. Call for help! (Practically and Faithfully)
4. Find the Silver Lining and hold on to it!
If you have time, read on below!
‘Fill yourself with joy. (Not the dishwashing liquid.) And accept what life throws at you- the good, the bad, the ugly, the awkward, the fun, the boring, the sweet, the sour, the salty, the ripe, the unripe…’ – Ellen Degeneres
Last weekend, I made plans to work on my dissertation. In a few days time, an important meeting was scheduled with to discuss our progress and get valuable input from our superviser and other students that were doing their dissertation on similar topics. I already planned accordingly to be prepared beforehand, to avoid the last minute rush and finding myself stressed out. However, that Saturday afternoon when I sat down to continue working on it, my laptop wouldn’t turn on. I knew that my laptop battery needed replacing, but so far it could turn on just fine with the plug.
I went into slight panic mode. Realizing that all of my dissertation research, reading, and writing I’ve done so far was in that laptop. It was at that point I had learned the valuable lesson of having multiple backups of your files. Suddenly, a short while later, the wifi stopped working.
It was already 6pm. There were no more electronic shops open to check my laptop.
I couldn’t do anything that day. I didn’t know why my laptop decided to crash on the weekend before my meeting. I didn’t know why the wifi decided to stop working. It was as if the world was literally making me STOP working. tune out. and tune inward instead.
Do the little things bother you?
Maybe your laptop didn’t crash. But maybe it’s another situation you find yourself in.
We shrug off the fact that we forgot to take our umbrella with us when we have already prepared it the night before. By the time we remember, we’re already running late for our meeting or lecture. End up tripping over a bump in the sidewalk and spilling our coffee onto our trousers. We shrug it off, walk into the room with a huge coffee print on our butts and hoping that no one notices. After class, we end up getting soaked, wet, cold on our walk home, as the rain pours. We become harsh to ourselves and swear that we will be keeping our umbrella permanently in our bags.
We get asked a question in class, and we suddenly end up forgetting how to string a sentence. ‘Uh.. umm, like so…’ Even though, we already did the reading beforehand.
Maybe it was a comment that our friend to us. Or our boss / colleague said something and we ended up taking it wayyyy too seriously, thinking about it over and over again. When she didn’t mean anything at all.
Maybe it’s already late in the afternoon, and after being stuck working all day, we’re tired, hungry and all we want when we get home is put our feet up and eat something warm. Yet, when we come home, we find that the fridge is empty, and have to go out to shop for food and find that the line is incredibly long.
We underestimate when these things happen. But on a certain level, they get to us, and we end up feeling burnt out.
We don’t have control over what the weather will be, or what the people around us will say / react, or what will happen to the stuff (yes, even technology still has its moments) that we often rely on to help with our day to day functioning. We don’t even know what the situation that we are in will turn out to be.
But what we do know; what we are certain with, is the moment that we are in.
What matters is not what happens to us, but rather how we respond to it that makes all the difference. Click To Tweet
So when life seems to be getting to you, try these things:
1. Breathe, Step away & Be your own Best Friend Forever
It’s easy to get stuck in the moment and let our feelings or harsh thoughts take over us when life seems not working out smoothly.
But there’s no need to be so hard on ourselves in these moments. We don’t need to continue thinking along the lines of:
‘Why am I not more careful?! I could have avoided tripping and not spill hot coffee all over myself.’
‘Oh if I was more organized, I would have learned how to back up my files onto Google drive beforehand.’
‘Why in the world is this happening to me?!’
When we become harsh on ourselves, we become our own enemies. It lowers our energy down and propel us to get stuck in the situation further.
Instead, Be your Own Best Friend (Forever).
What I mean is, take moment, breath, and step yourself out of the situation. Ask yourself, if you were your best friend, what would she or he say to you to help you in this situation?
The voice of the best friend is encouraging, helpful and positive.
It will say things like,
‘Hey, it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.’ (And usually these things are never our own fault).
‘There’s no need to take comments like that too seriously’
‘It was just horrible weather. Tomorrow will be a brighter day.’
In my case, after I was done wallowing in my fearful and worrying thoughts of,
‘Why did my laptop choose to crash in this moment?’
‘What if my dissertation research cannot be recovered???’
‘What will I do for the meeting now?’
I called up my inner best friend and listened to her words of, ‘Hey it’s okay, calm down, it’s not the end of the world. There’s a good chance you can recover your notes. It’s not lost, you just need to get your battery fixed and laptop taken in to be checked out. You’ve already researched. There must be information in your head that you can write out to prepare for the meeting.’
There will be several times in our life when things happen that get to us for no reason at all. It is in these moments that we need to be our own best friend and talk back to the negative, fearful, worrying, thoughts that may be occupying our heads.
2. Seek the Solution
When life seems to be giving you moments that push your buttons, it is not the moments that you want to focus on. Since, it is the solution you seek.
Don’t dwell on replaying what happened to you, instead focus your mind on the solution / answer that will help you. It might not come right away, but trust that it will be revealed to you when you need it.
3. Call for Help! (Practically and faithfully)
When we step out of our heads and be our own best friend, it helps us to view our situation from another perspective. When we seek for the solution, we can then see what things we can do that will help us to get out of the situation that we are in.
When life begins to get to us, it’s a good time to practice our faith, to surrender our human need for control and give it over to a greater, higher power that oversees this entire cosmic universe J.
On that day my laptop crashed, I realized that maybe it’s chance to really stop working. I stopped trying to fix the situation, when there was nothing I could do. It was frustrating, but moments like this sometimes calls us to turn inward. So, I tuned out from the world, I tied up my shoes and went for a long walk and jog. I breathed in. I watched endless House episodes with a blanket and long socks. I surrendered my need in wanting my laptop to somehow immediately be fixed. I called on God to help me be okay with the uncertainty of the situation and help strengthen my faith and that it was for good.
Practically though, I gave a nearby electronic repair shop a call the next morning and took my laptop in. They managed to extract the files from the laptop, I managed to draw out an outline of the plan of my dissertation from a friend’s computer. Even then, it turns out on the day the meeting had to be rescheduled to be in another couple of weeks because students in the dissertation group couldn’t come because they were not feeling well. Maybe God knew something I didn’t after all. 🙂
So call for help, practically and faithfully. Trust that the situation is for good and that it is building up your character.
4. Find the silver lining and hold on to it!
To help get out of spiraling down our thoughts to the negative, focus on the silver lining and hold on to it. The silver lining will be different for each of us and our situations.
For me, my laptop crashing, I took it as a chance to give myself a break from work. To rewire mentally and learn to be okay in uncertain moments and to surrender my faith that things will always work out for the best. Even though we may not see it at the time!
There will always be a good thing, no matter how bad the moment may seem. When you find the silver lining, you can fill yourself with joy like Ellen said, and accept the moment as it is.
Thank you for reading! I hope that these tips serve you well if you find the little things in life getting to you or you may feel overwhelmed.
1. Breathe, step back, and Be your own Best Friend Forever
2. Seek the Solution
3. Call for Help! (Practically and faithfully)
4. Find the Silver Lining and Hold on to it!
Leave a comment and share with me, what do you do when you feel overwhelmed in life? What tips do you use to stay grounded?
I would love to know!