Live Well, On setting goals and going after them

On setting goals and going after them

Nature’s teachings in telling us to let go

I’m going to share a little story today about something i did when I was a kid. Something you might not know about me is that during my primary years at school, I had a chance of living in California between grades 2 -4. For a part of my stay there, I had lived in this small quiet town of Temecula. When it was Spring / Summer, I used to take this path way that went through a wide landscape of greenery. In the corners of the path there would these thick bushes of dandelions bursting up from the grounds. On the days that it was windy, I used to stop and see how the wind would blow across the bush and some of the thin long leaves would detach from the dandelion and get carried, scattered by the wind. I had a thought once and asked myself, ‘Hmm, where do these dandelions seedlings go?’

On some days when I was feeling rather playful, I would crouch down, pick a dandelion up and blow as hard as I could, in the attempt to get all of its seedlings detach from the stem. As soon as the seedlings would scatter away, I would try to catch it back in my hands. Of course, I was not able too, the seedlings were so light that they would already have fallen elsewhere. But sometimes, one or two seeds would get caught in the palm of my hands.

I wanted to tell that story because it serves as a good metaphor when we have desires, wishes, goals for our lives. Sometimes we can get so caught up in achieving them, even more so wanting to achieve them at a particular time in our lives, that in doing so our energy and our intentions of wanting to have such goals changes.

In the beginning it may be that our energy is of motivation, that we know that we are acting from our highest intentions, but then along the way we may become flustered, tired, and our energy becomes coloured with frustration instead of goodness. In the same way I became tired of trying to catch the dandelion seedlings after I had given it over to nature to take care of.

Nature has something to teach us about letting go. It’s not only dandelions- it’s also the trees when they go through the seasons, they bloom, bursting with leaves, then in the Fall they wither and the leaves fall. Flowers too, they burst forth in all of their richness and delicate petals, but then the bees would come and pollinate, spread their seeds around. We trust nature and we don’t doubt a second that where seeds have planted they will grow in its own time. It doesn’t grow with frustration either, they just simply take the time to grow and bloom when it is time to do so.

 

Trusting that our goals are within us

I’ve come to learn that if we become too fixated on our goals, we get tired of chasing after it because we are always reaching to have something that’s ‘out there’, instead of believing that what we want is already within us.

Our goals and desires are already within us. The question is, whether you believe it is within you? Click To Tweet

You might be asking, wait what? What I already want to have in my life is already within me?

Yes it is. We just don’t know it because it is ‘hiding’ beneath that voice that tells us, ‘No you can’t do this, you are not good enough, this is impossible, who do you think you are to go for your dreams?’ 

When we really step back though, we come to realise that those voices that are speaking is not our most Truest selves. Those are the voices that you have heard someone else tell you, in the past, or have come from societal beliefs or experiences and we ourselves have come to believe in the power of its words. We become to believe in it so much that we come to think that it’s our own words thinking, when it’s not.

To get rid of these beliefs we must understand how we come into this world in the first place. When we came, our soul was free, it was free to do whatever it liked, it did not know any confinements nor did it attach its identity to something that was in the external. It was only when our soul came to know of the things of this world more and more that we come to believe and gave power to the things that happened outside of us or what anyone said about us. When we come to be aware of this, we can release the power that we have come to know that it is not of our Truth. It was Love that brought us into this world and from that it is Love that gives us life and naturally it is right for us to pursue the things that we naturally Love. Usually the things that we desire in life has to do with bringing us feelings of satisfaction, fulfillment, abundance, and happiness. But we do not need material things to bring us these feelings. Society can place so much things on what we have than what we really are. Since when we understand that we come from Love and it is Love that we really are, these are already feelings that are naturally a part of us. In Love we are happy, in Love we are fulfilled, in Love we are abundant and can give so much more than we think we can.

 

Internalizing and letting go our goals

What does understanding where we come from have to do with letting go of our goals?

Behind each of our goals, there’s a certain feeling to it. It is the feeling that we need to internalize, not the materialistic nature of the goal itself. It is this feeling that we need to become acquainted and not the actual goal itself. So if we want let’s say we desire a car, we need to ask  ourselves, why is it that we want this car? Is it because we feel significant because we have a car? Or do we wan it for functional reasons, so that it would be easier for us to get to one place to another? If the reason is for significance, then the real question that we need to ask ourselves is, but how can we make ourselves feel significant without the car? Or why is it that we might feel insignificant in the first place that we need the car?

It’s important to unearth our motivations and to keep in check that what we desire to have in this life resonates with our Truest selves. Our Truest selves, that came from Love, does not need to achieve anything externally, because it knows that it comes from a state of being of completeness, of wholeness, of Love.

It’s important to ask ourselves the motivations for our goals, since a goal is not to be pursued when we find ourselves losing ourselves for the sake of achievement. A dandelion grows and blooms, and it understands that one day its seedling will spread to give birth to more dandelions. It’s the same with how flowers and trees grow, they internally understand that it does not live fully for its own, but it also lives for others. This is how we can keep the balance between believing that whatever we desire is already within is. We don’t need to be so fixated on achieving it, since we know that we don’t need it to complete us – this is how we can release our wishes to the Universe, like blowing the dandelion seedlings. At the same time, we come to trust that whatever we have released will bloom in it own time, because we are motivated not for our own significance but we are coming from a place of that we Love what we do and how our goals can serve others. In serving others, this can take in many forms, perhaps our goals will bring happiness to others, make them come alive, heal others, make their lives easier… and so forth.

 

I hope that this post has helped with your reflections in how we go about achieving our goals. We do not need to be frustrated and fixated in achieving our goals since we know that it will bloom in its own time, as long as we are coming from a place of our most Truest self; that of Loving what it is we do and more interested in how our goal can do for others.

 

Much love,

Gaby

2 Comments

  1. Berta.karaim@gmail.com'
    Berta says

    Hello Gaby,

    This post resonated so strongly with me, because recently I went through a really stressful and anxious and (plainly) horrible time (both for myself and those around me). When I took a step back, I realised that the reason I felt the way I did was because my motivation for achieving my goal of studying at university changed; instead of focusing on how the studies could bring me to a job where I can help people, I focused on what others would think of me.

    One of my goals for this year was/is to do well at school, but also to not lose myself. Reading your reflections regularly helps me to achieve exactly that. I’m afraid this might sound very strange, but I can’t find any better words: you are a blessing 🙂

    Anyhow, enough about me! I hope you’re having a good weekend x

    • Hi Berta! Aww, thank you! I just went through a stressful time too, in a different way…. I spilled water all over my mac and couldn’t do any work for about 3 days. I felt so lost. What you said about wanting to do well in our work and also not losing ourselves, is sometimes a difficult thing to balance, and I just wrote all about it on my latest blog post, hope you enjoy reading it and that it helps! <3

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